Occam's Razor

Three months ago I first checked out the Worcester Massachusetts Craigslist casual encounters section, the state’s second largest city and about ninety minutes by car east of me. I’m back there for June for a second look around again, because I was surprised by the quality (such as it was) of its posters. For hunters of the bizarre I found more than a few choice quality nuggets.

Looking over my Craigslist hits during May, I count at least 209 web page views for these posts, or about 13% of traffic. This is about normal. 117 of them were for my May 2015 review of the Hartford, Connecticut section. On today’s first page of postings in Worcester I find:

• 35 men looking for a man
• 35 men looking for a woman
• 2 men looking for a transgender/transvestite
• 9 men looking for a couple (male/female)
• 12 women looking for a man
• 6 women looking for a woman
• 1 couple (male/female) looking for a woman
• 2 couples (male/female) looking for a man
• No transgender/transvestite looking for anyone, strangely enough

Let’s see how high the spring fever is running here in the Commonwealth now that all the leaves are finally on the trees and we’re turning on the air conditioners.

• This 25-year-old gay man from Worcester seems to be more into abuse than sex. He wants you to abuse his throat, not to mention his face, hair and neck. Curiously the rear end is off limits. Otherwise pretty much anything is open, including binding him up and slamming him hard on his bed. And when you are done, he wants you to do it again and again. I’m one of these old fashioned types that simply don’t understand the appeal of violence in a relationship. I think nine out of 10 therapists would agree with me that it’s unhealthy. Anyhow, the poster may also be this guy, as he also is gay and won’t do anal, but is looking for multi-partner sex.
• Can a couple be “clean” and have Herpes Simplex Virus? This 40-year-old couple from Ayer / Leo / Fitch area apparently believe they can have safe sex with another woman, which sounds technically possible if they are not having an outbreak. It’s too chancy for us actually “clean” people. The man apparently also swings separately and is looking for his own couple. At least they are upfront enough to admit they have HSV.
• If you are a female student in the Worcester area and are looking to combine your passion with sex with your passion for paying the tuition, this 25-year-old man from Worcester is willing to donate tuition money if you express your appreciation appropriately.
• He’s actually just looking for a date … someone who wants to see the Dave Matthews band with him. Now that’s kinky!
• If there are any women in the area that enjoy being urinated on, this man from Oxford is ready with his full bladder. He’d best not wait for an answer before answering nature.
• 25-year-old male athlete ISO female athlete to do intimate indoor aerobic exercises.
• If you are a couple in a cuckold relationship (and who isn’t?) of course you will want to party naked with your fellow cuckolders. There’s already a group in Worcester and they are looking for new members. Just to be clear, they are not wife swappers.
• This ninety-pound 18-year-old lesbian from Winchendon is sick of masturbating alone. In fact, she is so hot for her own gender she can’t help but TYPE IN ALL UPPER CASE. She may also be this barely legal woman who apparently has mastered mixed case.
• The bottom line is that this apparently gay transitioning 23-year-old man with a nice set of tits is willing suck you off (in five minutes or less guaranteed, he says) but only to get high. If you don’t have weed, no oral and no playing with his man jugs either.
• To show you what a Luddite I am, I had no idea until today what kik is. It appears to be a newer way of hooking up using your mobile phone. Anyhow there is a Worcester area kik Kink Club and all you have to do is scan the kik image on the ad to get into their private chat room for fellow kinky kik-ers, or something like that.
• Ladies, if you are so proud of your feet that you want to show them off, this 43-year-old man from Worcester with a foot fetish very much wants to admire and fondle them, and maybe more.
• Also ladies, are you thrilled at the thought of getting caught with your pants down? This 59-year-old man from Worcester is into semi-public sex. If caught though the looks are more likely to be of disgust or pity than shock.
• She’s a cutie patootie from Worcester all right and she has pictures to prove it, but she’s only interested in uncircumcised men. But she could also be this lady.
• Underendowed? “She” is from Gardner and likes them small.

More next month.