Occam's Razor

It’s a new year but some things don’t change. This includes Craigslist’s dubious casual encounters area, full of often mediocre ads and spam postings but still capable of little nuggets of surprise, outrage, amusement and gross out, sometimes all at once, if you have the tenacity to dig through them as I do once a month. Today I am scanning Hartford, Connecticut’s postings again. The weather outside is kind of frightful: 20F and snowing, but I’m betting these posting will be red hot. Let’s find out.

First, let me share some statistics. I counted at least 251 page views for this stuff in December, about average. Since web traffic was down to only 1406 pages in December, 18% of my web traffic was for my Craigslist posts, a new high, and not of the 420 kind. Pulling up the section on this snowy Saturday afternoon I find:

• 34 men looking for a woman
• 34 men looking for a man
• 7 men looking for a couple
• 1 man looking for a group of men
• 1 man looking for a transgender person
• 19 women looking for a man, although most of these are probably spam
• 3 women looking for a woman
• 2 couples looking for a man
• 2 couples looking for a woman

And we’re off to the races for 2017:

• By her own admission, this 23-year-old woman wants to jump your bones, but really your cock. She’s full of energy so she expects you to have maximum stamina.
• He’s 49, from West Hartford, partnered but not married. She doesn’t put out so he’s looking for a woman who will and is willing to help you out financially for a little quality booty. He’s apparently been looking for a long time, as this was first posted 28 days ago and he keeps reposting it.
• I guess it’s not easy finding threesome partners, so this 19-year-old hot Latina is posting looking for a woman to surprise her man. If she can pull this off, I’m guaranteeing he will be surprised. Better have a cardiac stimulator on standby.
• This 45-year-old out of towner at the East Hartford Comfort Inn is finding life sucks, so he wants to suck you instead. He came prepared with plenty of lube and condoms but prepared to email him a picture of your nethers to even be considered.
• She’s 24 and wants to swing, but not from the vine. She needs an experienced swinger to take her swinger virginity.
• Ladies, this 35-year-old dominant man wants to be your “beautiful nightmare”, probably in a “Shades of Grey” kind of way. According to bdsmtest.org he’s 100% dominant, 99% degrading, 98% rigger and 93% sadistic. Well, at least you know what you’re getting into. He may be also this 40-year-old man looking for a live in sex slave or couple. In any event, I found one candidate for them from Enfield. She doesn’t so much want to be dominated as be your slave, if you are fit and in your 20s.
• This may be a first for Craigslist: she’s married, Albanian and looking.
• This 29-year-old “hung Italian stallion” thinks posting lots of pictures of his dick will make the women swoon. His empty email inbox will likely tell inform him otherwise. Anyhow, if this 25-year-old guy is truthful he’s got some serious competition, in a John Holmes sort of way. Yowza!
• Not sure why a 20-year-old lesbian would want cock, but she does.
• Not just any woman will do for this 23-year-old man from Windsor: she has to be transgendered.
• Here’s an entrepreneurial woman from Enfield: she’ll sell pictures of her feet with or without her stinky socks on to a man with a foot fetish.
• He’s 40, from Bristol, married and is looking to be “spit roasted” by two men at your place, of course. I’m not sure what this means but it sure sounds dangerous and/or violating.
• She says Craigslist doesn’t work for her but is posting on it anyhow to find groups of women into casual sex.
• It sounds like this white man from Meriden will be getting married soon. Before he joins the whites-only club permanently, he wants to get some black booty.
• This is a peculiar kink: he wants to jerk off for a woman, but no sex. Meanwhile, he wants a woman to fuck him with a strap on.
• This 47-year-old man from Ellington is lowering his standards and wants an age 60+ granny. Bonus: he may help with those Medicare co-pays! No, seriously!
• What is Bears Lair? I’m not entirely sure but this cross dresser wants a group of guys to be their “sub slut” and take “her” inside. It appears to be some sort of club for bisexuals and women.
• This couple (age 43) from Newtown is looking for Dave for a do-over threesome.

More in February.