Occam's Razor

It skipped my mind to survey Craigslist’s casual encounters section this month until now. I’ve been trying to do it on the first Friday of the month, which this year was New Years Day and I had statistics to post instead. Moreover, I forgot it yesterday, on the second Friday. But it is still the weekend, and that’s when these posts tend to be at their weirdest. I was disappointed in my survey of Boston’s posts in December but I was impressed when I surveyed Albany, New York last year. So I’m off to Albany again this month hoping to strike weird posting gold again.

First to note that Google Analytics recorded at least 221 page views for these posts last month. That’s 22 more than in November. However, my traffic was up some fifty percent in December so this was only six percent of total traffic of 3652 page views. 52 of those views were for my first review of the Hartford, Connecticut site in May of last year.

Who’s posting this Saturday in the Albany metro area? On the first page of postings I see:

• 25 men are looking for a woman
• 53 men are looking for a man
• 12 men are seeking a couple
• 1 man is looking for a transgender
• 3 women are looking for a man
• 0 women are looking for woman or anyone else
• 1 couple is looking for a man
• 1 couple is looking for a woman
• 3 transgender individuals are looking for a man

And we’re off:

• Men, have you ever wondered what it would be like to be transformed into a woman? Umm, no, at least not me. Now that I think about it I’m sure Frankenstein would look prettier in a dress. However, this “gurl” (45) and her friends are hosting a makeover party for the serious and experienced. You can bring a wardrobe but they have their own pretty extensive wardrobe too. Maybe they take pictures when they are done, and you can attach them in your next Craigslist post. Appropriately, these gurls are from Queensbury. Looking at “her” pictures, she could use a makeover herself. I’m afraid not even a quart of Jack Daniels would convince me to make a pass at her.
• Meanwhile, this gurl in Latham is looking for a real girl (woman) to dress her up.
• Speaking of the transgendered, this “gurl” is looking to make her first appearance at Adult World this weekend, if she can summon up the nerve. I’m guessing this is the local poorly lit porn shop. Basically she needs a sponsor so if you go there regularly, grab her arm and help “Ashley” through the door.
• Women aren’t the only ones in this section looking to trade sex for money. This six foot black gay man from Albany with nine inches to spare is looking for a rose. Make that two roses. I guess he figures those extra inches are worth the extra money.
• They are a couple looking for a woman and she wants a lap dance. If you dance well enough, she will give you your reward.
• You wouldn’t think a couple in their 50’s would need to be taught how to have sex, but this couple from Fulton County needs help learning how to swing. Lesson #1: there is (usually) no actual swing involved.
• He’s late 40s, from Albany, married and says he has his wife’s permission to hook up with you, a blonde woman. Why am I suspicious? Because I’m betting he is this poster.
• He’s just another horny 38-year-old married guy who pines for his own sex. He wants to discreetly hook up with a similar married guy at his hotel room near the Albany airport on January 22 when he will be in town. Apparently he is an ex Boy Scout because he plays safe and here he is proving he knows how to be prepared, as two weeks should be plenty of time to screen dates. Maybe he should hookup with this dude.
• Here’s the only legitimate young couple looking for a man post tonight, and they have very explicit pictures to prove it.
• He’s 37 and was weaned too early; in fact he craves the breast milk. If you have some to spare, he’ll be your milking machine.
• The last time I looked at Albany’s postings I found a guy that wanted to bottom another guy in a Schenectady bookstore. Weird, but today I found a 26-year-old man who wants to orally service a guy in a Troy bookstore. Perhaps it’s the same dude. I had no idea that bookstores were favorite spots for perverts and voyeurs. Next time I’m in a Barnes & Noble, I’ll keep a sharper eye out.
• Draya is a 21-year-old working “gurl” and I guess if I had to cross the transgender and color line “she” would make a great choice. Not sure I could afford “her” however.
• Some married men just want to be humiliated, i.e. sort of get off with a woman by getting no sex. Make love to his wife while berating him. It’s a strange idea of “fun”.
• Not many men are interested in age 60+ women. Not many … unless you are divorced and 59 years old.
• Speaking of older men, he’s 63, chubby and wants a hand job from a similarly chubby and age-appropriate woman. I hope that Cialis prescription has been recently filled.
• If I were a woman looking for a woman I’d definitely check out this buxom beauty, 32, from Albany. I wouldn’t say no to this 46-year-old blonde honey looking for a woman half her age either.
• They are a couple looking for another man but with no male-to-male contact. In fact, all that will happen is she will give you a hand job and I guess he watches. They are in their 30’s and from Albany.
• I thought slavery was illegal but this couple in their 20s wants to own you (a woman). Expect to be degraded; in fact degrading may be putting it too mildly.
• Ladies, this man would like to get to know you over coffee, but you’ll know him quite well before you ever get to the coffee shop, at least what he’s packing. It sounds like he’ll pass the truth-in-packaging law but don’t expect to spend much time sipping coffee.

More next month.