Occam's Razor

The last time I wrote about Craigslist and its casual encounters section, my septum had just been surgically corrected. That was July 2012, a whole year ago. For some bizarre reason (bizarreness and sex is apparently a popular combination) these few posts still contribute substantially to my diminished page requests. So in the interest of getting more traffic, particularly during these summer ratings doldrums, I will try to make a regular practice of reviewing this portion of their site, since it is something of a niche that I own. So here goes a review for my inaugural month:

But first, a note. I found a cool way to surf Craigslist that is much more efficient than actually going to the site. It’s an app for my iPad. It’s the cPro client for the iPad. Of course, I use the free version despite its nagware feature. But it allows rapid scanning of all of Craigslist, including its casual encounters section. It makes finding those nuggets of weirdness so much more efficient. For any Craigslist junkie (and I truly don’t qualify) the app is almost a necessity. Today as always I concentrate on its casual encounters section, specifically the Washington D.C. metropolitan area where I live to see what lurks inside the ids of my fellow Washingtonians. To keep the kink down to a manageable number, I further reduced it to just Northern Virginia where I live.

Yikes! The first ad is from some kinky dude age 47 who may live right down the street from me. I’m betting though he won’t get many takers for this ad. Just remember, he may be into women urinating on him, but he is “sane”. This is just a hobby:

Ladies, I am looking for a woman who is into water sports. I would like a golden shower. I’m in the Dulles area but can travel. 6ft 165 pounds ddf professional sane WM.

Well, at least he is not into toe cleavage, like this guy.

I was talking to someone at work and was stricken by her toe cleavage. It’s all I could do not to stare at her feet. Now, all I can think about is foot play. I don’t know much about it but want to learn.

I consider myself pretty learned on sexual kinks but even I have no idea what cowgirl riding is. This dude though does and wants to find a female partner. I can only guess what it’s about, but I suspect that any woman into this though should probably keep a chiropractor on speed dial:

ISO women who enjoy cowgirl riding. I’m a clean WM, ddf, 6ft, 165 pounds. Willing to host during the day in the Ashburn area or I can travel to you. Discrete. E-mail if interested and we can exchange pictures.

Gah! That’s “discreet”! Anyhow, most of the posts by men for women are in a similar vein. I had no idea though that there were so many transvestites in my neighborhood, apparently exclusively guys, at least on Craigslist. I’m guessing since they advertise for men exclusively they must also be gay. Apparently at least some of them feel they can be choosy:

I need a cute chubby white guy in Centreville… – t4m – 34 (Centreville) Does that describe you? Are you over 21 but under 35? Then you should send me an email. Please send your age, a full description, and a pic in the first email. I’m looking to meet this tonight, but not chit chat all day.

Some CDs (cross dressers) though apparently are just starting out and need some practice. Not sure about the free booze though. I guess he (she?) doesn’t know that alcohol tends to suppress the libido, not heighten it. You would think that beggars would not be choosers though:

I’m embarrassed to say this but, I need practice giving head. Any straight or curious white guys under 30 want to help me out? Bonus points if you’re stocky and hairy chested. Incentives are porn on the tube and all the free booze you can drink. I prefer to host, but I do live alone with discretion and privacy assured. I’m a bi guy, military, live alone. Please send your (1) age, (2) full stats, (3) location in the first email

Enough with the guys. What do women want from a casual encounter? Virgin males may be the newest kink. Either that or fast cars. Or you can purport to be a lesbian who wants to try out a guy. Umm, yeah. I think that is about as likely as me wanting to try sex with my own gender. If I had to guess she used to be a he, had an operation and that’s why she looks so butch.

In the past I have noted posts by “women” who probably were men. At least this one is being straightforward that he is not a she. I don’t care how horny a guy you are; you should avoid this probable bait and switch. Or at least wear a condom:

Looking for a birthday present for my wife. M, MM, MW. Must provide pics and voice verify prior to the big night. Be fit, good looking, clean and able to provide a place close by. Hotel or home. It would just be you and her. U will pick her up, take her back to your place, have some adult fun then return her to me. Would like to do this soon. Hope to hear from you.

I have nothing against younger/older sex as long as everyone is of legal age. However, I do draw the line at incest, or even pretend incest. She needs a good psychotherapist. Speaking as a father, my answer is “absolutely not”:

Hi….I have a fantasy I’d like to play out…..first online then who knows…. I want to be a good little girl….sit on your lap while you tickle me a little. Tell me how sweet I am. How you have a present for me…. Anyone want to play with me??

Some couples need a third to get off, but it helps if you don’t mind being tied up. Ladies, you should pass this one up:

Dom guy and girl 44/32 seeking a younger girl 18+ to 30 to use as a bondage slave You will be humiliated and sexualy used

You don’t expect to see a room for rent in this area of Craigslist, but these rental arrangements are a bit different. Rent by the hour in Manassas but … no screaming. I’m guessing this operator won’t change the sheets between clients.

Are you a girl who is looking for a room to use with a client or friend. I a have a room that I don’t always use for rent. $25 a hour in Manassas Va. Please be clean and be able to keep the noise down

More next month, maybe.