Occam's Razor

(Warning: this blog post is Rated R.)

It’s day three of convalescing from sinus surgery. It was made more interesting when we lost power Friday night due to the massive line of powerful thunderstorms that blew through. This meant futilely trying to sleep in an un-air-conditioned house while my sinuses made all sorts of interesting gurgling noises. There was all this plus regularly hobbling to use the bathroom in the dark and changing gauze with the aid of a flashlight. We were relatively fortunate as these things go. Power returned eighteen hours later, before our refrigerated food went bad. Now I can feel miserable in an air-conditioned house.

There is also a lot of time to fill. Most of it is spent popping pills, changing the gauze under my nose and attempting but failing to sleep. I don’t have much attention span. Even web surfing to my favorite sites is boring. With so much time to kill and eager as ever to increase my blog’s traffic, I decided this was the perfect day to head back to that den of sin, shock and hilarity, specifically the Washington D.C. Craigslist Casual Encounters section to see what is new.

In November 2009, when I last reviewed the site, I declared it a complete waste of time, at least if you are a guy looking for a woman and are hoping to have a casual sexual encounter. I am happy to report that it remains a complete waste of your time for that purpose, but it remains sporadically amusing as well as frequently deeply disturbing. Let’s see what little morsels I can glean from Washington D.C.’s Casual Encounters section today. Anything new?

Well, this is interesting:

Cuckhold!!!!!!!!!! – mw4m (nova) Do you like watching a couple while being tied to a chair? If you are an older mature male drop us a line. We do this on evenings and weekends. Prefer you be in the Dale City area as we decide at the very last minute. Clear face with body pic to head of the line. Please put your age and exact location in subject line to eliminate spam. Thanks!

I don’t remember any of this cuckold business on their site back in 2009. Back then it was all about BBCs, an acronym for big black cocks. As we all know (?), African American men are all endowed with enormous penises. It’s true. Haven’t you seen Blazing Saddles? Make no mistake; there is still plenty of interest in BBCs on Craigslist. Generally, it is from some couple where the male is interested in seeing his wife take a big one. Presumably the wife is accommodating.

Anyhow, cuckolding seems to be the new “in” couples activity. Naturally in this ad, the poster could not bother to spellcheck. Cuckolding apparently involves a dominant wife and a submissive husband. The submissive husband, at least in the world of Craigslist, must submit in a humiliating way while another man gives his wife the sexual pleasure he apparently cannot. That’s probably because he does not have a BBC. Anyhow, there are two things that make this ad interesting. First, it has nothing to do with cuckolding. Second, WTF, you are going to let strangers tie you to a chair? This “couple” apparently lives in Dale City, Virginia. I imagine the call to Prince William County police is getting old. “We have a report of another naked guy tied to a hotel chair who has been robbed.” Any male who replies to this ad certainly gets what he deserves. Hmm, maybe it has something to do with cuckolding after all. You will be humiliated and likely robbed as well.

Being heterosexual, I don’t find much interest in reading male for male ads, but in the interest of fairness I glanced through these ads today, and judging from the volume of these postings the number of gay guys must be about 25% of the population, not 2%-3%, and a surprising number are in heterosexual marriages. Moreover, most of them don’t seem to be very concerned about picking up STDs. This one (warning: explicit content) is, sadly, typical (bring drugs):

boTTom 4 Top – m4m – 32 (suitland md) bottom latino some body hair shaved head looking for top with parTy favors poppers to come and get busy ….

And what are women looking for in a guy? Gullibility seems to be their prime criteria because as usual most of these “women” likely aren’t women at all. If they are women, they are likely whores. Most likely they are sophisticated email address collecting schemes. Some though are upfront that they are running an escort service, but isn’t the Dominican Republic a long way to go to get laid? I mean, if you are not Rush Limbaugh. Their ads will likely get quickly flagged:

Sexy girls!!!come and get it!! – w4m (washington, DC) Hi I have very nice hi end clean and cut girls available here in santo domingo willing to please your needs My girls will take care of you they know how to behave in public and you will have alot of fun. They are available for out calls I have hourly and daily rates. email me with any questions and for more info and pics of girls my girls are 18-25 please do not ask for any younger I do not have

Do you like larger women? How about much, much larger women? There seems to be plenty of BBW (Big Beautiful Women) posting on Craigslist, so many that I suspect these too are illegitimate and are marketers going for some tangent. Some guys are into women with “extra” which is fine, but I suspect most who would choose a BBW are likely desperate, or don’t understand that BBW does not mean twenty pounds overweight. Here’s a sample.

let’s do it all day – w4m – 40 ( Your place) Good morning! I’m hot and horny this morning and looking to make love to a well endowed man all day. Let’s order in sleep eat and fuck all day. I am AA BBW. I’m insatiable love oral and basically uninhibited. Let’s make our own heat wave. Got a friend? I may be open to that too. Safe play only…be ddf! Please provide a pic or you will be deleted. Also put how many inches you are and your city in the subject line….lol…gotta admit that’s kind of hot. Ex. 10 inches in Reston

Men looking for women still post a disproportionate number of ads. Still, you got to admire simple honesty when you see it:

Wanting To Lose My Virginity – m4w – 18 (Fairfax) Hi – This is not a joke and yes, I can prove my age. I’m looking to lose it before I go to college. Average build, white, swirly hair, clean (obviously) Let me know if you can help

Here’s a guy that will give you a place for you and your paramour or gang to have discreet whoopee. Only I’m betting the room is bugged and has a two-way mirror. Warning: you may find videos of yourself and friends posted to xhamster.com:

Need a place to play? – m4mw – 52 (Falls Church) Ahh, the summer: a time for passion. Like the other 3 seasons. Do you want a safe, private, lovely home to play? I’m glad to host you, Wednesday afternoon through Saturday morning… No questions asked. A place for a tryst? GB? Your inner slut? I’m glad to watch, play, or stay out of the way. Your call. I’m cool, athletic, and smart. You will need to bring a partner: I’m not going to fix you up. M4T, T4M, w4mm, mw4mm and all the other possibilities…

Women are looking for other women, of course. As usual most are looking to explore and aren’t quite ready to acknowledge with their SO they are attracted to their gender. Ads, well, like this one:

Looking to explore – w4w – 25 I am very interested in meeting a woman for the first time. I am a MWF 25, petite, DD free and really ask for you to be discrete and DD free as well. I am available almost anytime this coming week after normal work hours. Please women only, I already have a man in my life and no he won’t be involved in anyway. Hope to hear from you soon!

BTW, I think she wants a discreet relationship, not a discrete one, although one at a time is usually a good idea.

And the most disturbing Craigslist casual encounter ad of the day? What could possibly go wrong here? (Address embedded in the ad has been redacted. Since it is so disturbing, I chose not link to it.)

rape me – 27 (arlington) I’m looking for a guy who wants to sneak in, come upstairs, find me naked in bed, and rape me. (202) I live at 2400 [redacted]. in arlington and i’ve left the door to my apartment unlocked. [redacted]. Yes i’m serious. it’s sunday afternoon and i’m real. [redacted]. i’m 27yo white and drug/disease free, you be too please. email me or call me if you are interested.